Like most teenagers growing up in central California I
“experimented” with drugs like Marijuana and Magic mushrooms. I’ll never forget
the first time I did “shrooms” It was the summer of 2007 and I was at my buddy
Jeremy’s house who lived about a country mile around the corner from my
parents’ house. It was a normal Tuesday morning and I was chilling with my bro
rusty and a few other people smoking a doobie and one of the guys there named
“terry” asked me if I wanted to try some California gold cap mushrooms. With
all honesty I admit that I was afraid to try something like that, but after a
few more drags from the aforementioned joint I sifted through the baggie that I
paid 20$ for and asked “well, how the fuck do I take these?” Terry explains
that I eat them. DUH, right? A mouthful of what tasted like pumpkin seeds and
cow excrement later we settle on the couch and start watching Grandmas boy (my
first out of 5 attempts to watch that fucken movie).
If you
have ever done a drug in your life or have seen a Cheech and Chong movie than
you will understand this convo:
Me:
Duuuudddeeee there Is soooo many fucken colors in this room. This movie is
like, the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Ooohhhhh shitttttt
I think that the shrooms are starting to kick in, also, it feels like I am
doing flying through space time on this couch.
Terry:
hahaha yeahhh, I think that they are starting to kick in.
I lost
track of time/space after that moment, I say “time/space” because I can’t
recall any kind of time line and the special implications of normal reality
where lost to me. My next clear memory is me, watching Grandmas boy and getting
a call from my dad saying/ yelling in his Mexican accent that “Your brother’s
dog got hit by that bitch lady around the corner, and I need you to get your
fucken ass home and bury it. NOW!”
Yep yep
yep, it is as bad as it sounds. The feeling I got is what I imagine most people
get when they know they are FUCKED and getting pulled over by the cops during a
felony incident, like having a literal trunk full of meth or being a black guy
in an all-white 1960s GA bar. I don’t know what the fuck I said to my pops but
I am pretty sure that it was similar to “Uhhgghhh yea………………….ok…………….I’ll be
home soon…..ok……..yea….not up to anything really….just hanging out with my
friends…..yea…..no, yea……….”
So, for
some reason I thought that smoking another J would help, accordingly I finish
another one and watch some more Grandmas boy with my dudes and even though only
about 10 minutes have passed, it feels like 5 hours and I imagine my dad
waiting on the porch for me with a shovel in his hand and our dead Australian
Shepard puppy and my little brother crying over it and the fact that the sun is
92,960,000 miles away from earth and it will be setting into our beautiful
western coast soon. I shoot up off of the couch and say some jumbled goodbyes
and head out on the 1.4 miles of country road towards home. it was like I
stepped into an old Mickey Mouse cartoon and all of the trees were waving at me and the 30 billion fucken
flowers on the way home were ecstatic to see me walk by, and I was equally as
happy to see them, hysterically laughing as I passed by.
Despite the fact that I was on my
way to bury a dead puppy, there was no amount of evil in the world that could
turn my drug induced euphoria upside down. I felt like god made every color in
the rainbow just for my eyes, and revealed unto me the truth about life, death
and everything after it on that walk home. If you’re ever in Galt, California take a walk
down Live oak road headed towards
McFarland st, its fucken magical. On said road there is an Asian family with
what looks like a small goat farm with a Great Pyrenees dog guarding it.
If you are under the influence of a
psychedelic drug, you will probably think that he wants to chat about how
awesome life as a giant dog is but this is not the case, EVER. Do NOT ever stop
and chat with a strange dog, EVER, about anything. After my hangout with the
Great Pyrenees I continue my trek home to take care of my bury-the dead-puppy
chore and arrive home. I see mooches limp corpse laying at the edge of our
driveway, with what looks like a neon orange fluid oozing out of her mouth. I
don’t even go inside but instead go around back and grab a wheel barrel and
shovel; about 20 minutes of admiring how beautiful the corn fields behind my
house looked, I finally attempt my original task.
I
am sure that this pup only weighed about 40 pounds at the time but when I tried
to put her in the wheel barrel it honestly felt like I was trying to lift a
fucken engine block up. The whole time it looked like she was still alive, with
that terrified look dogs get in their eyes when they are scared or about to be
punished. This is what most people would classify as the downward spiral of my
trip, which is a pretty accurate description since everything from this point
wasn’t exactly living inside a rainbow like the last 6 hours was. I finally
heave her into the wheel barrel and cart her off to our field which I planned
to bury her in. Once we are in the center of the field I start to shovel into
the concrete like soil of our field when in what seems is 20 seconds the sun
instantly lowers from a solid 3 PM in summer to instant sunset, accompanied
with an eerie fog. I dig her a shallow 4 foot grave and toss her already stiff
body into the ground, due to lack of planning I realize that I probably should
have piled up the dirt instead of literally showering it everywhere. I awkwardly dig another hole to supplement her needed
cover dirt and realize that I don’t have anything to use as a grave marker.
Luckily for me the week prior I had to uproot some Aloe vera plants in our yard
and throw them in the field where I buried Mooch. “well, looks like this is it
dog…go with god..”
To this day I am still hoping that
all of the sun dropping and instant fog thing was just a byproduct of my minds
imagination, the other explanation is that I somehow completed a “evil dead”
type ritual without knowing and now the dogs spirit is roaming the land, doing
things like causing ghost piss in the house and chewing on hoses. 
